Because I’m not secure in who I am, I have no idea what I’m worth
And because I have no idea what I’m worth, I allow outside factors to define it for me.
So I’m like a stock market
All it takes is an unsaid complement or verbalized expectations and my confidence is shattered. Suddenly I scramble for the nearest fig leaf, i.e. losing myself in being “busy” or a guy not worth my time.
But I’m so….exposed. And all I have to show for it is a desirable, half-eaten, forbidden fruit.
"I crave touch, yet I flinch every time someone is close enough."
- I have become rather fearful I suppose. (via h-o-r-n-g-r-y)
(Source: dollpoetry, via love-the-sky-im-under)
And in that instant, I felt smaller. It seems as if everyone has found their place and I have not. This is more than just a boy, this was a wound that could have only been exposed by the only one who could get close enough to take the mask off.
I typed up “insecure” on tumblr
Crazy amount of posts.
But I decided to not drown myself in negativity, so I searched “secure” and it was mad pictures of couples.
See, that’s my problem. That’s everyone’s problem. We’re brainwashed to believe that our security should be in someone else. That’s unrealistic and a terrible weight for others to carry.
I’ve often lost pieces of myself and attached pieces of others to the parts of me that weren’t whole and once they left, a piece of me left with them. The cycle continued.
But you know what? The solution is Christ. As cliche as that may be. He’s the only one that can fill you, listen to you, and not be burdened by what you say or do. He’s the only one that can love you unconditionally. He’s the only one that can give you true comfort and never leave.
Just please don’t give up on me.